I needed some fresh clothes for a change. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. These better be funny! What would you call it if you went poor and switched your detergent for cheap powder? That is wrong on so many different levels.' - Tim Vine These 100 jokes are free. 59. one-liners as much as we did in selecting them. Dad: What do you mean? Teen: It sucks. Dad: Well, there is always Roomba improvement.. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. She said hardback? and I was like, yeah and little heads. Mark Simmons, Whats Postman Pat called on his holiday? Are you looking for more jokes? Our collection of funny jokes about cleaning are definitely worth sharing not only to clean freaks but also to your friends, co-workers and kids who are too lazy to do some cleaning! The bartender says, Hey! So I became a mom. 2023 best-puns.com . All of these jokes for kids and adults are so bad, they're good. 45. My furniture can't communicate with us when we're talking in English. The Spin Cycle. Theyll never expect it back. How do you make holy water? I dont know and I dont care. You don't want your dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. If you enjoy cracking jokes and one-liners at home, this article will not only help in fostering new ideas but will also act as a great stress buster, enjoy! I became worried that he might get caught for money laundering. My dad just said, "the dryer can't run. What happened to the leopard that fell in the washing machine? So, let's take some time and dive into some great puns. 99. Food-naming I love my job. Not all of it. I feel better already! Dave Barry, Its sad day when your child looks up at you and asks: Daddy, is this organic? Organic? Some relatives came to our house while my sister was trying to make a swing on the front lawn by hanging on a wire. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. ), 'Clean'ing Jokes. Please add a link to this article. 48. Laundry day is a dreadful day that everyone has to go through at least once a week. Check out these one-liner nurse jokes filled with nurse humor. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone's messes. I gave him a glass of water. 27. These religious jokes are (sacra)ment to make you grin for what might seem like an eternity, and bring some laughter (and possible good-natured head shaking) to your day. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Tooth pics! 51. Which month of the year is the shortest? Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. creative tips and more. One day my wife said, "how is it going to dry in the winter?". Because its door wasn't clothesed. Someone I know did his Ph.D. in Washing Machines before heading the Washing Machine's PR department. Instead of using fear of prison to discourage criminals, we should make them do laundry using tide pods. Don't miss these 25 brainy jokes that'll make ye sound like a genius. 27. 15. What would a business person call his laundry shop if he was a Star Wars fan? Always borrow money from a pessimist. It was unfamiliar territory. 46. "A man is at the funeral of an old friend. . 6. He loves cooking too but he always has to do it from scratch because he hates micro-waves. With Thai Pods. I made a few speaker boxes out of my used laundry detergent bottles. 63. 87 FUNNY Duck Jokes That Little Quacker Will Love, 75 FUNNY Tree Puns and Jokes (For Nature Lovers), Funny House Cleaning Jokes by Famous People, Summary: Cleaning Jokes for Kitchen to Toilet, 95 Hilarious Puns for Kids (The Best Collection of Kid-Friendly Puns), 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! I grew up on Angel Delight! She seemed surprised. My house is so messy it looks like Im losing a game of Jumanji. What do you call the person that cleans the Mafias hotel rooms? Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop? Lindt chocolate. We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. We rushed them to a washpital immediately. You know what they say about a clean desk: It's a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer. Best Cleaning Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners Why did the burglar take a shower? I woke up in the morning to see a new version of myself. After washing all the clothes, my mom accidentally dropped all the laundry. 22. When he entered his bedroom and noticed the dirty pillow, he immediately took the case. We have a load of washing machine jokes, laundry detergent jokes, and so much more. 26. They charged one and let the other one off. Tommy Cooper, Im learning the hokey cokey. I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. 18. So whether you enjoy texting funny one-liners to your best friend or can't wait to test these out in public, here are the 101 best one-liners. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. It's simple. Celia Cruz Build a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. I was a test-tube baby. Billy Connolly, Im sure wherever my Dad is: hes looking down on us. 20. 43. I start my new job as a street cleaner today. Tommy Cooper I just got lost in thought. I said: I want to make a complaint this vinegars got lumps in it. He said: Those are pickled onions. Tim Vine, My grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off. Milton Jones, I moved to a well-to-do area. Once everyone has enjoyed a feel-good belly laugh, turn up the tunes and tackle the housework together. 32. Cecil Baxter. What did the detergent say to the other after an excellent game? Lets see some cleaning jokes by famous people. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician. 29. Nuclear detergents. 7. 2. 55. 14. My mother came and told him to fold it as he had promised and not lie on it while he watched TV. 4. Laundry puns are not as bad as everyone thinks they are. 30. 34. 2. Do not worry about gathering massive amounts; just read these jokes and feel happy and sound. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. A man walks into a vacuum cleaner store. Well, to be Frank with you, Id have to change my name. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Mr. Realtor has become a rich man by only selling refrigerators. I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. Here are some boss jokes one liners that will make you laugh out loud! What is the laundry capital of the USA? ORourke, We dream of having a clean house but who dreams of actually doing the cleaning? 92. When the bulb checked its weight on the weighing scale, he said to himself "Woah! Plus, you know, laughing about cleaning makes it suck a little less. Geology rocks, but geographys where its at. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. Whats a frogs favorite type of shoes? 62. 03/01/2023. 38. What kind of chocolate will you find in your pocket while doing laundry? I had to put my foot down. 67. Phyllis Diller, Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. 80. When I told him that, he just replied, "laundry isn't my strong suit when I have to wash my bathing suit.". So far Ive finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. When you clean out a vacuum cleaner 12. Mark Twain, that prolific witty author who brought to us the delightful tale of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, was a quick witted man who seldom kept his opinion to himself! One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. Take that, to do list! 10. There was a key change in it. My friend got a Ph.D. in washing machines. What would you call a dancing clothes dryer? I guess theres no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. Jerry Seinfeld, My star sign is Pyrex. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringy- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. That way, when you do criticize them, youre a mile away and you have their shoes. So I just requested my dad if he could help me hang the laundry. 17. Laugh more: Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his. Why wasn't the washing machine starting? Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. My mother's sister is quite good at cleaning smelly laundry. Here are some of the most fun home and house puns that you will absolutely love. Being rich, one of the worst things that can happen to someone is having all of their secrets revealed. I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is Goodbye.. ", 52. That are Actually Funny. These better be funny! With a meteor shower! 15. It doesn't have legs.". 47. Why'd the Eskimo do his laundry inside with tide pods? Two fish are in a tank. I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Because they always throw their dirty clothes on the heap. 83. A comedian will never be able to tell a dirty laundry joke. 26. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Blue sky at night: day. Tom Parry, My great uncle Arthur died at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. 101 Clean Jokes 1. 37. I hear theyre going to give him a tough sentence. Today, I ran out of body wash and soap, and the only thing I could find was some detergent. 49. It said it needed some alone time to reflect. It went inside one ear and out of the other. 20. I would tell you a joke about my bed, but it hasn't been made up yet. 63. The remote assured the television that everything was under his control. Whats one way to turn a mom whos cleaning into a raving maniac? Why did the cop sit on the toilet? I was feeling chair-itable so I donated a lot of my old furniture to the homeless shelter near my house. I almost fell down the stairs yesterday with a bucket of washed laundry in my hand. Well, it should make for good clean shots. 1. One Of The Best Long Clean Jokes For Adults Teacher: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" Timmy: "I want to follow in my father's footsteps and be a policeman." Teacher: "I didn't know you father was a policeman." Timmy: "He isn't. He's a burglar." 81. 93. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. My cousin wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns. 2. He was the genius. Sid Caesar, I used to think sticks and stones could break my bones but words could never hurt me until I fell into a printing press. Milton Jones, Why on earth do people say things like my eyes arent what they used to be. So what did they used to be? I built a car out of my used and broken washing machine. I don't have washboard abs. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. 83. Set a man on fire and hell be warm for the rest of his life. If not, when I come home, I cant find anything. My sister wanted to tell me some laundry puns. This does not influence our choices. I became worried that he might get caught for money laundering. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. Get them in on the cleaning pun action by showing them this list (yes, the jokes are all clean). 2. They're also a great way to get a chuckle out of kids. Margaret Culkin Banning, Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. That's why we've rounded-up some of the best spring jokes we've heard to add even more joy to the cheerful time of year. So we're hanging the clothes on a line outside. What did the laundry ever do to you? 24. eBay. Lee Mack, As a kid I was made to walk the plank. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. The mirror in my room was upset. A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. I built a car out of my used and broken washing machine. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. creative tips and more. I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line. 89. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. My dog shed his hair all over the house, specifically on the fur-niture. It'd be called a quarter-life crisis. Using a microfiber cloth, wipe the sealer in even strokes to cover a small (approximately 3-by-3-foot) area. 59. It only has three letters. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. Im going to lay down until the feeling passes. 53. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. What would you call it if you almost forgot to wash your laundry? There were so many details to iron out daily. Kids and adults will moan, groan and laugh at these corny puns and one-liners. We call her deodor-aunt. Its like a normal hotel, only in reception theres a picture of a pebble. Rhod Gilbert, My Dad always knew I was going to be a comedian. 70. So I bought 100 copies ofGoldfinger. Nick Hall, My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. What happened to the fly on the toilet seat? Why? Your email address will not be published. 14. I always say that If you think doing laundry is not funny, you just need to have a dryer sense of humor. I really am light!". Now my hands are tide. We're not going to leave you high and dry like clothes hanging outside on a line. My dad seeing that, exclaimed, "that was a clothes one.". My girlfriend got mad at me because I wanted to role play. My dog shed his hair all over the house, specifically on the fur-niture. 1. 14. We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, Is this stool taken?. The only beverage he likes is real-tea. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I was holding a bottle of detergent while doing my laundry. Finally, I did my laundry today. 90. My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? We have a load of washing machine jokes, laundry detergent jokes, and so much more. I failed math so many times at school, I cant even count. But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that." 21. 47. He replied, "it was a sockrifice.". If you are a real estate agent yourself, or have a close friend that is a real estate agent, then you will love the real estate puns in this article. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke .) 55. 36. When my closet picks a fight, it becomes a war-drobe. We save them for emergency seat-uations. I don't find medical puns funny anymore since I began suffering from an irony deficiency. It was an emotional wedding. Its that no one runs in your family. People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. The end.. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages? Because her work was de-pressing. 61. Sorry you missed it! No, she says shed rather have it in a cup. Eric Morecambe, My granddad always said never judge a book by its cover. I thought: This could be interesting. Paddy Lennox, If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths? Dara OBriain, Ive always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly, You cant lose a homing pigeon. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. That is wrong on so many levels. You never know what you haveuntil you clean your room. A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on his shoulder. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. She looked at me and told me, "no-no, it's ionic.". 13. Have a go at this list of puns, including puns on clothes, the washing machine puns, and other hilarious puns. If you dont pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? My brother was doing laundry and forgot to separate my mother's white dress from his red shirt. She hoped the soaps would act as a detergent against future grime. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Like a museum. 5. "Well, we'll just freeze-dry them", I told her. To the person who stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy now. Well, I guess I shouldn't have used my Yule Tide Detergent. Theres no training you just pick it up as you go along. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. In fact, its been the inspiration for many a funny meme on every social platform. 39. Whats the favorite song of someone who loves to clean? I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. When I got locked out of the house, I decided to break the window and get in. My dad loves surfing. 5. They are hardly ever in sink. Think those are funny? "I'm so tired of people pushing us around." Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Radhika Mundra, Housework cant kill you but why take a chance. 75. Well, tell him I cant see him right now.. That is wrong on so many different levels. Tim Vine, My New Years resolution is to get in shape. My father has schizophrenia, but hes good people. 87. He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. I call it insta-gram. How do people wash their laundry in Bangkok? They sound super clean. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, 38 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. Try telling one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles. 33. Using a dry . 11. You look flushed! My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. What if there were no hypothetical questions? I get plenty of exercise at work: Jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. 25. 89. The previous one sucked. All of a sudden, the bottle exploded and completely drenched my hands. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Marcelene Cox, Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest. One said: Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah.The other replied: Well, put some cold in it then. Harry Hill, Owls havent got necks, have they? Did you hear the one about the messy bed? Its impossible to put down. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. 15. I used to think I was indecisive. My sister and I were doing our laundry together. My brother promised he would be on top of our laundry. You know that white thing on his head? These. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia. If your homing pigeon doesnt come back, then what youve lost is a pigeon. Sara Pascoe, It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it youre adding raisins and marshmallows its a rocky road. Olaf Falafel, Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Yes, George was Washing-a-ton. She used to say things like: heres five pounds dont tell your mother. 97. 18. It is written via way of means comic story by global file holder George Valentine, a gag creator with 50 years' revel in writing jokes, one-liners, and comedy. Its been collecting dirt on you for years. A member of staff came up to me and said hey youre that mad bloke off the telly. I took the stairs instead of the elevator today. But you teach a man to fish saved yourself a fish havent you? Lee Mack, Crime in multi-storey car parks. 71. With a clean microfiber cloth, wipe off any excess sealer. We had a small table that did not fit everyone. What would you call a dapper bouncer at the laundromat? what did the play say to the other play pun, 53 Squeaky-Clean Cleaning Jokes To Wash Your , 53 FUNNY Cleaning Jokes 2022 (For Man and Women! Everyone in Britain prefers brooms over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying the floors. 30. What kind of exercise do washing machines love? Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. That was a load off of my mind. My laundry machine and dishwasher broke down today. 12. The world champion tongue twister got arrested. 23. From hilarious riddles about daylight saving time to gut-busting one-liners about spring cleaning, this list of jokes and clever puns will tickle just about everyone's funny bone. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. Why do basketball players have messy rooms? They were a-mason. 101. She is fond of classic British literature. 84. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I was doing my laundry today, and the clothes seemed surprised. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. Go ahead and share these all-time funniest dad jokes on your . Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, theyll want to use it. Teen: Dad, I hate my life. I'll take it out for a spin later. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. He is a well known realtor. 54. After browsing for a while, he asks to speak to the manager. 90. The screw said to the screwdriver in the toolkit "You drive me crazy!". 56. 35. 33. These amazing nurse jokes will give you a good belly laugh. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. So we stopped playing chess. Matt Kirshen, Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesnt try it on. Billy Connolly, I like the Ten Commandments, but theres a problem with the ninth one. 35. What would happen if a person from Alabama dropped their detergent down a hill? 32. How do you clean Disney World? . The rotation of Earth really makes my day. Both of us cant look good at the same time, its me or the house. We are sure that everybody can relate. If you liked our suggestions for the best house puns, jokes, and one liners, then why not take a look at these bone puns, or for something other than puns, take a look at our list of the skeleton jokes for kids. Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. Paul F Taylor, A man walked into the doctors. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a6acb093a6415256b84d8aa314dc8bdc" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 3. Boss Jokes One Liners. Why? There was a lot on the line. My house was clean yesterday. Why not try out these one-liners on your friends and family next time you are at home? Why a carrot as a logo? Will glass coffins be a success? They really shouldn't have been, because I've worn them before. Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? Cleaning the house fascinates everyone in my family. A linty-hop. 95. She hit the ceiling! I heard they're calling it 'Detergent, a dishsoapian novel'. The Maids Blog, 56 Best Clean(ing) Jokes ideas | humor, funny, bones funny, 160 Cleaning Humor ideas | humor, bones funny, funny quotes, Cleaning Puns Gifts & Merchandise Redbubble, 101 Good, Clean Jokes That'll Make You Laugh Your Pants Off, Clean Jokes You Can Share With Your Family, Here are the cleaning related music puns you didn't Gigwise, Cleaner Jokes: Croker, Chester Amazon.com, Stupell Industries Laundry Wisdom Sign Daily Life Cleaning , big list of clean silly jokes Ducksters, 145 Best Dad Jokes That Will Have the Whole Family Laughing, 16 Posts About Spring Cleaning Thatll Make You Laugh , https://www.scarymommy.com/cleaning-jokes-puns, https://jokesquotesfactory.com/cleaning-jokes-puns/, https://www.maids.com/blog/cleaning-jokes-that-are-actually-funny/, /search?num=20&sxsrf=ALiCzsajhPbLDdlUS-Dhu7-Qaw0MtmIq-w:1656822537832&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=cleaning+puns&fir=zc3wkYSIyiNy9M%252CzVPXqABvzlTVwM%252C_%253BMtL6mbGE_tCGHM%252CwxToNjU-v9agyM%252C_%253BoLV4l7t3dMAWlM%252CsNqaczlTr129pM%252C_%253BpmDYoJjf59UAyM%252CvBY4LYeifYZ_HM%252C_%253BG_sIzYeu5-ByeM%252COldtQREQHpZZkM%252C_%253BKUlCuKamINPshM%252C9mfUybilygRRDM%252C_%253B1Svkj68AnHMD1M%252CwIeiXdKWfLDN_M%252C_%253BCAKxT2ZiqYt3pM%252CBU7WUvLIUURxkM%252C_%253BsODtZTjJDANoTM%252CzVPXqABvzlTVwM%252C_%253BELl3LtqZdwHLDM%252Cxd1ddiU6uegFeM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kRqYjEQ26RTa2z4_O1jRIn16UlC5A&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjMvsn28Nv4AhXgrJUCHcQoDzQQjJkEegQIJRAC, https://www.pinterest.com/ocedarclean/cleaning-jokes/, https://www.pinterest.com/themaids/cleaning-humor/, https://www.redbubble.com/shop/cleaning+puns, https://dollychar.com/2020/04/cleaning-jokes/, https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/ayj0gb/i_need_cleaning_puns/, https://parade.com/1041830/marynliles/clean-jokes/, https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/clean-jokes/, https://www.gigwise.com/news/107576/make-music-cleaner-trending-on-twitter-best-music-puns, https://www.amazon.com/Cleaner-Jokes-Chester-Croker/dp/1796218987, https://www.amazon.com/Stupell-Industries-Cleaning-Stephanie-Off-White/dp/B08VCVBGCP, https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/silly.php, https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/, https://www.buzzfeed.com/delaneystrunk/jokes-about-spring-cleaning-twitter-tumblr.

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